In Madness and in Health
by Annie Dame
Summary: Au Where Harley and Joker are married before his accident. Harley's husband has been missing for 4 months after getting involved with some unsavory characters. What will happen when Gotham's new up and coming crime boss gets sent to Arkham where Harley works? Rating may change later in the story
1. Prologue

_Prologue:_

Harley squinted her eyes open, groggy with sleep. Chills ran down her back and up her arms when the cold air of the small dingy apartment raised goosebumps on her smooth skin. Winter was not kind in Gotham, but with her student loans and her husband's stagnant run with the local comedy clubs money was tight and heating an apartment even one this small was pretty expensive.

She rolled over ready to shuffle closer to her husband and personal space heater but found that the left side of the bed was empty and cold. "Jack?" She called softly and sighed when she was met with no response. Grumbling half-heartedly she pulled the blanket from the bed around her shoulders and stumbled clumsily from the bedroom to find Jack seated on the couch with his head in his hands mumbling to himself. In front of him on the dinged up coffee table was a mess of bills and bank statements.

Harley sighed quietly walked behind him to place her hands on his shoulders. She brought her face down to his ear. "It's late darling, come to bed," she chided him softly.

" How am I supposed to sleep knowing I can't support my wife or our future child," he said with a frustrated tremor in his voice. " I never should have left that job at ACE. If I had just sucked it up we wouldn't be in this mess right now. Why did I ever think I could make it as a performer? I'm not even funny. You must be so ashamed of me Harls. You deserve more than a dead beat like me."

"Hey, don't you say that. I love you more than anything. I don't need a big house or expensive gifts, fancy dates. All I want are you and little J.J." Harley murmured as she wiped the tears trickling from Jack's eyes and placed his hand on her abdomen with a soft smile. "I'm so proud of you for leaving a situation that was making you unhappy and striving to find your dream. Everything else will fall into place and we will be fine. Now come to bed, please? Your Harley needs some snuggles from her Puddin," she pleaded with a giggle.

Jack's lips stretched into the beautiful grin that had made her fall in love with him in the first place. He placed his hands on either side of her face and pulled her lips into a soft but passionate kiss. He pulled away to find Harley with that dopey love sick look and slight blush she always got when he showed her any affection. "Then snuggles she shall have," he said dramatically with a flourish of his hand. "You go settle in and Daddy will be there in a moment okay Doll?" Jack gave her a light smack on her bottom as she turned and all but skipped back into the bedroom with a squeak and a giggle.

Jack smiled fondly after her for a moment before his grin started to falter and he glanced at the phone anxiously. He tentatively picked up the receiver and dialed the number the man had given him after their meeting earlier that day. The ringing stopped and a harsh male voice answered with a "What?!" Jack swallowed a couple times before he was able to get the words out

"I'm in."


	2. Chapter 1

4 Months Later

Harley POV

 _Ring_

 _Ring_

 _Ring_

"God damn it!" I shriek, rushing as much as I can at seven months pregnant. I dig through my bag as I run through the mud and puddles to my car. I manage to extract my phone and see that it's work calling right before it slips out of my hand and into a puddle. The screen flashes one...two…three times before it makes a fizzling sound and goes black. I stamp my foot in an admittedly childish manner as tears of frustration fill my eyes. _God damn it Harleen_ I think. _Can you please just not be a bumbling clumsy idiot for one day._ More tears come to my eyes as a memory flashes through my mind.

 _I'm humming to myself as I whisk the batter I've been making for pancakes. My Puddin has been so good to me lately; carrying my bags, driving me to and from work, massages when my back and feet are sore, and a shoulder to cry on I'm feeling weepy. I have to admit I was pretty scared when I found out I was pregnant. I grew up in foster care and Jack…well Jack didn't grow up in a great home. We don't really talk about it much, but we've always had each other and he's proved to me so many times over that we always will. I'm lost in my day dreaming when a loud beeping permeates my pleasant fog and I see Jack run into the kitchen in nothing but a pair of boxers. I realize it's the smoke alarm and that I've let the bacon burn. I jolt back into my senses and rush to take it off the stove only to stumble and knock over the bowl of batter which crashes to the floor and shatters. I ignore it in my haste and get a piece of glass stuck in my foot which causes me to shriek and hop on one foot into the counter where I land with my elbow right on the carton of eggs._

 _While I've been making a fool of myself Jack has managed to hop over the mess of glass and pancake batter to remove the pan of bacon that is nothing but a crumbly burnt mess by this point. He quickly surveys the scene and picks me up and places me on a clean spot on the counter while he rushes to wave a rag at the smoke detector. When the high pitched beeping has finally stopped he turns to me and just stares for a minutes before he bursts into laughter. I smile tightly not wanting him to see how upset and embarrassed I am when I already ruined his breakfast. So much for doing something nice for him._

 _He reaches over me and takes a first aid kit out of the cabinet and goes to work picking the glass out of my foot while he hums softly to himself. When he finally finishes and looks up at me he notices my flushed face and hot tears of humiliation streaming down my face that I was unable to contain._

 _"Oh no! Shh Shh Shh," he tries to calm me. "Is it your feet? Did I miss some of the glass?" His hands are waving frantically from my face to my feet unable to decide exactly what needs to be done to calm me down._

 _"I'm sorry. I just wanted to make you breakfast. You've done so much for me lately and I just wanted to do something for you to show how much I appreciate it all. But now here you are taking care of me again and waking up to a mess and complete chaos," I grumble looking down in defeat._

 _"Pumpkin pie," he croons to me as he lifts my chin with his finger. "You are carrying my child. You have already given me the most amazing gift anyone could ever have. How could you ever think you owe me anything else?"_

 _I give a wet chuckle at that and he offers me a sweet smile. "Besides I knew you were a clutz when I married ya," he barks out a laugh as I swat at him. He retaliates by tickling my sides until I can't breathe and yell "uncle." He finally stops and we just take a moment to stare at each other, both feeling so much for one another that we simply can't put into words._

 _Suddenly he grabs my face in his warm strong hands and pulls my lips to his in a hard quick kiss, but I can still feel all the emotions behind it. He pulls away to look me in the eyes as his breath hitches a bit and his eyes darken just enough to reflect his lust before he's pulling me into another heated kiss. I wrap my hands behind his neck and wind my fingers into his dark hair. Meanwhile his hands have roamed down my back to my hips and slide their way back to grab my ass and give it a rough squeeze. I moan a bit pulling his hair and biting his lip hard without thinking. He pulls away with a sound that is a mixture of a growl and a chuckle that sends tingles all the way to my toes. He reaches behind me for the bottle of syrup and shoves it into my hands, lifts me over his shoulder, and heads for the bedroom as I squeal with laughter._

 _"Come on my clumsy little clown, Daddy's hungry for his breakfast."_

I try to control my tears as I unlock my car. I need to get a handle on myself. I need to be presentable and professional for work. They have been pretty lenient with me since Jack went missing four months ago. Some of my coworkers even helped me post missing posters and helped me search the city until the police decided without any new information coming to light the search would be in vain. Everyone was too nice to say it, but I knew they were thinking it. They think Jack is dead, and he maybe he is. When people go missing in Gotham it's unlikely they turn up again. But I can't think like that. Maybe I'm in denial. Maybe deep down I know I should logically look at the situation and realize there were no leads, no evidence, and Jack was gone. Then I'll remember waking up to his sleepy smile or that special laugh he only laughed when it was one of my jokes, that spark he had in his eye when he came up with a new joke for a set. I just couldn't imagine that spark going out. There couldn't be a world where my Jack didn't exist.

I pulled into my spot at Arkham and pulled down the mirror to quickly fix the mascara that had smeared down my cheeks during all my reminiscing. I took a couple deep breaths to steal myself for the day and began the walk into the asylum with my head held high. The looks of pity and sympathetic voices are bad enough. As I quickly glide through reception towards my office I'm stopped by the voice of Dr. Jerimiah Arkham calling my name in a stern voice. I clench my eyes shut for a moment and open them as I turn to face him. I'm _so_ not in the mood for one of his power trips today. After Jack had been gone a month he started the subtle flirtations. I tried to ignore them politely I did, but when he tried to kiss me at the staff Holiday party a few weeks ago I saw red. I wasn't even aware that I slapped him until the fog cleared to show a Jerimiah with a very red angry hand print on his face and a stinging in my palm. There had been no disciplinary action since I'm assuming he was worried about me coming back at him with sexual harassment charges. However, he has been looking for every tiny slip up to use against me in front of my peers in order to, I'm guessing, ease his humiliation. I glance down at my watch.

"Dr. Arkham I realize I am cutting it close, but I am very much on time and have patients I need to get to so if you'll excuse me…"

"This isn't about your consistent tardiness," he says in an annoyed tone, "I want to see you in my office at once about a new patient." I hear him muttering to himself about insolent, insubordinate women under his breath as he leads me to his office and closes the door, gesturing for me to take a seat. "I'm sure you haven't heard yet since you find it such an inconvenience to dedicate yourself to regular work hours like the rest of us, but the Joker has been apprehended and will be transferred to Arkham Asylum this afternoon. I will be handing his case over to you."

"WHAT?!" I scream indignantly. "That psychopath that dresses as a clown? He's only been present in the Gotham crime ring for a few months and already he's killed hundreds of people. You couldn't _pay_ most people to even step in the same room as him. I'm _pregnant!_ "

"You are precisely right Dr. Quinzel. No other doctor is willing to treat him and you have no seniority, therefore I am passing the responsibility on to you. I am failing to remember when you were given the authority to decide which patients are to be assigned to which doctors. You can choose to accept the assignment or you can pack up your office and hope you can find another facility that will take you despite your many recent misdemeanors."

I clench my teeth at his satisfied smile. He's doing this on purpose. He thinks this will give him the chance to get rid of me and will spare him looking bad in the process. Well no way. Harleen Quinzel will _not_ back down. "Fine," I growl ripping the patient folder out of his hands and stomping out of his office, but not before I see his self-satisfied smile droop a bit.

I'm not letting him get rid of me that easily. Plus, I need a job to support my child. I fight not to slam my office door and sink into the chair behind my desk and let my head fall into my hands. I flip open the patient folder to find absolutely no information. In fact, there is nothing, but a grainy mug shot. I squint at the slightly out of focus face wondering why it looks slightly familiar. It's on the tip of my tongue when I'm startled from my concentration by a loud knocking and my first patient of the day being led in to my office by a guard.


	3. Chapter 2

" Dr. Quinzel? Harleen? _Harleen_? Are you even _listening_ to me," grumbled Jonathon Crane moodily. I shook my head attempting to shake the anxious thoughts from my mind.

"My sincere apologies Dr. Crane," I say softly. I make sure to add his former title in trying to butter him up so maybe he won't be too upset. I must say I have been quite distracted throughout the day and it isn't fair to my patients. It strikes me that these last few months I have allowed myself to put my grief ahead of their needs. That isn't why I wanted to do what I do. I wanted to help people and decide to make a vow to myself right here right now that I am going to stop putting my own wallowing before my patients. Am I sad that Jack is gone? Heartbroken is more like it. Am I worried that I will have to raise this child on my own? I have no idea what I'm doing. Am I terrified that I am going to have to go sit in a room with Gotham's new and most notorious criminal and try to figure out the inner workings of his screwed up mind? I feel the blood rush out of my head and my face go pale.

"Oh dear Harleen. You look like you've seen a ghost; you look terrified. Word on the cell block is you've got a new patient." He smirks and if I didn't feel like I might pass out any minute I would smack it right off his smug face. "I heard that all the other doctors refused to even meet with him, but you weren't given a choice were you. You must be terrified. Funny thing about fear my dear, it has a way of taking over our lives. For instance, most are afraid to die, but then why are they also so afraid to really live?" I met his eyes and he was looking at me pointedly. I floundered through my script of cookie cutter psycho analytical responses. I was to caught off guard to think of anything original right now. I was about to prattle on about projecting his own obsessions onto others because of insecurities, even though I knew he was right, when I glanced at the clock and noticed that their session had come to an end. I breathe what I hope is a subtle sigh of relief and walk to the door. I tap on the window to let the guards know that we are through and they can collect the patient.

I turn back to Crane and offer him a placating smile. "I apologize if I have been distracted recently. When you return for your session next week I give you my word my attention will be all yours." Am I imagining things or did he just blush. Before I can read to much into the guards come in gather Jonathon and depart in a slight haste. I glance and the clock again and realize I have just about twenty minutes until I'm scheduled to meet with the Joker. It feels like rocks are settling in my stomach and I slump into my chair. I put my hands protectively over my abdomen as I feel a slight flutter and kicking from little J.J.

"Don't worry baby, Momma's not gonna let anything happen to you. No silly little clown is going to take you from me." I start humming a lullaby.

"The other night dear

as I lay sleeping

I dreamt I held you in my arms

When I awoke dear

I was mistaken, so I hung my head and I cried"

 _You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

 _You make me happy when skies are grey_

 _You'll never know dear how much I love you_

 _Please don't take my sunshine away_

 _I'm lying on the bed with my back to Jack's chest. A sleepy grin graces my face and I turn my head slightly to nuzzle his bare shoulder as he sings a soothing lullaby and rubs lotion on my tummy. I don't think I've ever felt this at peace in my whole life. This man is truly the best thing that has ever happened to me. I smile a little wider as a tear of overwhelming happiness slips unnoticed down my cheek._

 **Knock**

 **Knock**

I'm torn from the sweet memory by a rather unpleasant sight, Jerry, my least favorite of Arkham's security detail. Quinzel, I'm here to bring you to your meeting with the Joker.

"Fine, fine just let me gather my things," I mutter as I hastily grab some pens, his patient file, and a notepad.

"You ready or what," Jerry fidgets impatiently. I don't say anything, I just walk by him out of my office and turn back to look at him.

"You coming or what?" I snark back. I know its unprofessional, but I can't help it. I'm feeling a lot testier these days. The walk to the interview room is filled with tense silence. I can't decide whether I should walk faster to get further away from Jerry or to walk slower since every step is taking me closer to my possible death. When we finally get there Dr. Arkham is standing outside the door, smug smile firmly back in place. He seems to think that no matter what goes down in this room he's going to have me out of his hair soon. I wish I had a moment to collect myself before I walk through that door, but I can't afford to show any weakness in front of these two. I twist the knob, step into the room, and shut the door with a bit too much force on Jerry and Dr. Arkham's sneers.

When I finally turn around my eyes are lowered and meet the sight of long thin legs in wrapped in Arkham's awful signature orange jumpsuit. My eyes move up his body until they reach his chalk white face. His lips are blood red and his eyes are framed by shadows as if he hasn't slept for days. What really draws my attention though are the clear blue eyes that are staring right into mine. I've never seen an expression like it. There is a deep hate anchored in his gaze while flashes of mirth break through here and there. He wears a straight jacket and has both ankles chained to the floor, but something tells me getting too close would still be an act of suicide.

"Hello, my name is Dr. Quinzel, and I will be your acting psychiatrist while you reside here at Arkham. Considering you've never graced our facility before, we have little information on you, so forgive me if I ask you quite a few questions for this first meeting." I look up from his file to find him giving me a blank stare. "Okay…well I'll just start then. What brought you here today Mr. Joker?" A shrieking cackle bursts from his lips.

"Well, a court order I believe wasn't it?" he chuckles.

I grind my teeth for a moment, take a deep breath to calm my rising temper, and respond. "Yes, and why would that order have been given Mr. Joker?"

"Maybe because I skinned a man who dared try to threaten me into giving him money he already owed me, maybe it's because I have killed multiple goons and left their bodies bleeding in the streets, or maybe…" He yanks harshly on his chains, "Nah! It's probably all those pesky unpaid parking tickets, am I right?" He barks out a laugh.

Why does that voice sound familiar? Too high but so familiar. I decide to ignore the ill attempt at a joke and write down anything he said that was actually useful. "Okay Mr. Joker may I ask you about your childhood? How did your parents treat you. Can you give me a little insight into your family dynamic?"

"Pfhh, don't remember any of it doc. Not a bit. Last thing I remember was falling into a bath that was a little too hot for my taste, while a freak in a bat costume stood there like an idiot. Before that nada, zilch, _nothing._ So cupcake, sweetheart, _pumpkin pie_ , you can throw out all your text book questions and accept that you've hit a dead end with this old noodle. In fact, you know what is a better question, what the hell are _you_ doing here?"I feel my mind jolt and suddenly I'm not in Arkham anymore.

 _"Don't cry sweetheart I've got you…"_

 _"Baby, I'm so lucky to have you…"_

 _"Pumpkin pie? I'm hooome…"_

That voice I know that voice. That crooning placating tone. How many times had I heard that voice, soothing me after a fight or spouting goofy declarations of love after a long hard day? I look at those eyes again and suddenly I don't feel annoyed, and I don't feel temperamental. I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack.

Suddenly I notice a ghostly white hand waving in front of me. "Hello? Doc? _Doc?_ Anybody in there?" Wait what? How is he waving his hand in my face? How is he standing so close to me? He's shackled at the wrists and ankles. Wait…Standing? I jolt again as I realize the Joker is free and I could very much be in danger. Mentally I know this, but my body doesn't seem to have gotten the message as I feel blood rush to my cheeks my hands shake with the need to reach out and touch him.

"Jack? Is that you?" It comes out as a soft whisper. My voice cracks slightly.

"Jack? Not sure who this Jack guy is sweets, but if he's anything like me, he must be a real catch huh?" Then it hits me, he said he doesn't remember anything before his accident. Now the fear starts really setting in. Jack or no Jack, this man is dangerous and he's loose in the same room as me. My forehead starts to sweat and I reach slowly towards my pocket for the panic button I carry with me at all times.

Suddenly those hands are on me, squeezing my wrists just a little too tight. "There it is. Mmmm I can smell that delicious scent anywhere. Fear, that's what I've been waiting for. For a second there, I thought you might be as cooky as me Doc. _Ha!_ " He looks down at my distended stomach and stretches his lips into an unsettling smile. "Carrying precious cargo are we? I'm surprised they let you in here with me, I could crush you and that little sea monkey in less than a minute. I've never tasted the blood of a child before, I bet it's sweet."

My defense instincts kick in immediately and I kick out at his shins and struggle against his hold. Unfortunately, he is much stronger than me and simply laughs at my efforts. I feel my temper kick back in a fit of rage spit right in his face. He drops me, wipes my saliva from his cheek, then looks back at me with a grin.

"You're a feisty one. I may have fun with you yet." He steps towards me and I stumble back and trip in my haste. I clench my eyes shut as he reaches towards me, waiting for a slap or a punch, but open my eyes when I feel his hand brush my pocket. He waits till I open my eyes and then presses the large red button. I watch as the guard swarm in and run towards him. He laughs manically all while they grab his limbs and force him into a straitjacket. "Until next time Doc!" He cackles as they drag him from the room.

Long after he's left, I sit staring into space questioning my _own_ sanity as I try to convince myself that it wasn't Jack's crystal blue eyes I saw staring back at me with such malice today.

 **Joker's POV**

"Quite an impression you've made here, huh boss?" Jerry says to me as he walks me back to my cell in the highest security unit Arkham has to offer. I ignore him as I reflect on my meeting with my brand new shiny toy Arkham has provided for me.

"Jerry," I croon dangerously. "I want you to find out everything you can about this Dr. Quinzel."


	4. Chapter 3

Harley's POV

I lay in bed bundled in one of Jack's old shirts and a pair of his sweat pants. With each deep inhalation I convince myself that I can still smell a trace of him on them, even though I've slept in them every night for the last four months. I turn my head to stare at the crib half put together in the corner. Jack hadn't been able to finish putting it together before he disappeared. I should really get around to doing it myself, but finishing the project he insisted on completing feels a little too much like a step towards letting go, and I'm not ready for that. He can't be gone. He can't be. Surely I would have felt something. It wouldn't be just any other day. I would have felt it the moment his soul left his body even if we weren't together. He can't just not be here anymore.

Icy blue eyes filled with stifled anger flash through my mind. I swear I can feel the phantom touch of his hands on my shoulders, moving down towards my wrists. A chill runs from my head all the way to my toes and my eyes close at the pleasant sensation. It was him. I know it. I flip open my old laptop and tap my fingers impatiently as I try to get it to connect to the internet. "Ugh, you piece of junk! Will you just work for _once!"_ I growl in frustration. I finally am able to pull up the search engine and immediately search "Joker." Hundreds of articles pop up displaying his chaotic, murderous schemes all around Gotham. However, as far back as I search it seems there is no record of him causing any kinds of mayhem in any other city. That gives me somewhere to start. Now, just exactly when did he show up.

I filter the searches by date and find that Joker's first public appearance was a run in with batman after he robbed a Gotham City Bank and killed eight people in the process. That was just about 4 months ago a little less. My breath catches in my throat and I lean back. I must be crazy, I have to be, but even the voice. I stare at the pictures, all featuring his distorted grin. I'm trying to look past the skin tone, green hair, and scattered HAHAHA tattoos to see if my Jack could really be in there. They certainly favor one another.

I come to the sick realization that I'm actually hoping this is Jack. Because even if he is a deranged murderous clown, at least he's still here. He can still wrap his arms around me and kiss my cheek. Would he even want to though? He said he doesn't remember anything. He certainly has quite the temper now. Would he even want to find out if he had a wife and a child? Would he be angry? Maybe I would just be hammering the final nail in my coffin. Not to mention that the second anyone at Arkham found out about our relationship I would be taken off his case for sure.

A sharp wave of panic rushes through me at the thought. _NO! They won't take my Puddin from me!_ I look down at my wedding ring, still resting against my left finger. _Oh my god…I think I'm married to the Joker._

Joker's POV

"Hey! What's a guy gotta do to get a scrap of bread around here? Huh?" I yell down the dimly lit corridor. I continue grumbling under my breath as I see the short little brunette passing trays to inmates through a compartment in their doors. I hear her squeak as one of the lunatics snaps his teeth at her and grabs the tray forcefully, almost causing her to smack her head against the wall.

"Hey doll face, over here," I call to her turning on the charm. She turns to me and I give her a sweet but dangerous smile. "Don't worry hun, I won't give ya a hard time I'm just hopin' to get some treats considerin' they haven't fed me since the bat caught me." I give her a pathetic puppy dog look just to lay it on extra thick.

She looks relieved and a bit flustered as she moves over towards me with her cart. "Aw sweetie that's horrible, let me see what I got in here for you. She pulls out a grey plastic tray with an apple, some mysterious brown glop, and a pudding cup.

It feels like my brain spasms and I stumble back a step, my hand flying to my head. _Pudding? Why does that seem familiar? Why does that feel comforting? Eh, whatever it's probably just some useless memory tryin to make its way through the haze. Probably just a favorite food or something._

"Woah there Mister, you must be really hungry, you don't look so good," she says with sudden concern. I watch as she reaches back in her cart and sneaks a second pudding cup on my tray. "Consider it a thank you for not being a raving brute."

I give her a flirty smile and a wink. "I got better manners than that doll, especially when it comes to a pretty little thing like you." She blushes and I grin in satisfaction. It can't hurt to get on some of the nurses' good sides. It might get me some perks here and there, and she's just making it too easy.

She looks at me with hooded eyes and slightly pouty lips. "Well keep behaving yourself and maybe I'll bring you some more treats," she responds in a sultry voice. I notice her swinging her hips a bit more than necessary as she walks away and I roll my eyes.

By the time I'm done eating there's a knock at my door and I have a new visitor. "Got that info you were wanting boss," Jerry says as he shuts the door. He hands me a folder to look over and continues, "Not much to tell, foster care till she was eighteen, ran off and got married, college, then an internship that turned into a permanent job at Arkham."

"Married," I muse. "Who's the lucky fella?"

"Some guy named Jack, been missing for about four months now, presumed dead. She's living alone in their apartment still. Word is she's in denial that he could be dead. With the state of that apartment and the thin ice she's on here at work I doubt she'll be able to hold on to the kid very long once she delivers."

"Jack…Jack…why does that sound familiar?" I mutter to myself. Then it hits me. Yesterday in his first therapy session…those wide eyes…full of anxiety, hope, and something else.

 _"Jack? Is that you?"_

"Oh, this is perfect!" I screech with glee. "That daffy dame actually thinks I'm her dead husband!" I'm jumping around my cell now and clapping my hands. I come up behind Jerry and slap him hard on the shoulders. "Oh Jerry my boy, this is going to be _so_ much fun!"

Harley's POV

I wake up Monday morning with renewed energy. When I glance at the clock I am elated to see I am going to be more than on time for work. I grab an apple out of the bowl on the counter and briskly walk out to my car. When I pull into my spot at Arkham I don't quite feel the dread I've been feeling the past few months. My tentative smile quickly falls though when I see my "favorite person" standing right outside my office.

"Dr. Quinzel, so glad you decided to grace us at a reasonable time this morning."

"To what do I owe this most _pleasant_ visit Dr. Arkham," I say with quite a bit of venom in my voice.

"I just wanted to make sure that you were clear that my terms still stand. I don't care what security measures have to be taken, but you will still be required to treat the Joker. If you want to refuse you should leave this facility this instant. Unfortunately for him, I've had all weekend to reflect on and recuperate from my meeting with Joker and if nothing else I can feel myself getting some of my fight back.

"Not to worry Dr. Arkham. I will be continuing my sessions with Joker this afternoon. I have his file updated with all the information I was able to gather and have the session record all ready for you if you'd like to review it." I smirk at the annoyed look on his face as he snatches the file out of my hand and starts walking back towards his office.

I head to the break room to get my caffeine fix before my first appointment this morning. While I'm taking my first heavenly sip, my colleague Joan Leland. "Harleen, how are you? I haven't seen you out of your office in a while," she says in a surprised and sympathetic voice. Joan is about the closest thing I have to a friend here at Arkham, but I haven't been the best friend since Jack disappeared. I've been too caught up in my own grief to pay attention to anyone else.

"I'm doing quite better, thank you for asking Joan. How are you?"

"Oh, I'm fine. Listen Harleen, I don't mean to stick my nose where it doesn't quite belong, but I heard that you had taken over the Joker's case. Do you think that's a good idea? Especially with the baby on the way, I hear he's quite dangerous. I know that with Jack gone you've had a hard time. I just want to make sure you are still looking out for yourself. I know you're a private person, but I want you to know that my office door is always open if you feel you need to talk."

Were it anyone else questioning my ability to handle my job I would be furious. However, Joan has been there for me through a lot, and I know she is truly concerned about me. "Thank you Joan, I may take you up on that." I mostly say it to appease her, but part of me also acknowledges it might be good for me to talk about some of the plaguing feelings I've had since I lost my husband.

The rest of the day moves slowly. I try not to glance at the clock too many times during my appointments, but all I can think about is seeing Joker. All I can think about is finding out what happened to my dear Jack.

Finally two O' clock comes and I'm standing outside of the interviewing room. This time I don't feel the dread, maybe a little of the fear, but it's mostly just an impatient anticipation. I open the door to find that Joker is there. This time he is in a straitjacket with double the chains holding his ankles down. He's shuffling a lot, almost like he's uncomfortable and I have an urge to rid him of the jacket and massage the feeling back into his arms. I can't bear to see him in any discomfort.

 _Woah Harls, slow down. You're not even one hundred percent that's Jack in there. Remember what happened last time._

However, the second I meet his gaze I know it's him. Some part of me just clicks. His skin and hair might be different, but I would know my Jack anywhere. I slowly approach the table not breaking eye contact, trying to stay on guard for any movement indicating he had let himself loose again.

"Calm down Doc. I should apologize for last week. I get a bit cranky when I'm in a cage. I give you my word, no more unwanted surprises."

I squint at him in suspicion before deciding to just leave it at that. "Very well, apology accepted. Clearly your past is a trigger for you, judging by your outburst last week, so let's focus on some of the present issues this time shall we?" I ask trying to regain some of the authority I feel I lost by last week's events.

"I've got an idea Doc. Call it a bit of a game. You like games Doc?"

"If it will get you to take these sessions seriously and get you talking then I suppose I could consider it. What are you proposing?"

"I answer one of your questions…you answer one of mine."

"That is hardly how therapy works Mr. Joker. We aren't here to talk about me. We're here to talk about you and your penchant for violence and chaotic destruction."

"Mmm flattery will get you everywhere Doc-tor." He spaces the title out in a seductive drawl and I squeeze my legs together as a sudden wave of heat rushes through my body. Memories of fingers skimming my skin and tangled limbs bleed into my mind, but I shake my head to clear the thoughts. I can't keep checking out at all my sessions. "Alas, how will I ever be able to build enough trust to let you see the inner workings of my genius if I know nothing about you?"

" _Fine._ If it will get you to talk we can try it…but I reserve the right to say no if a question is to personal."

"As do I doll," he says with a grin. "Shall we begin then? I'll be gracious enough to let you go first." He says as if he is indulging me, as if this isn't a therapy session for _him._

 _"_ Okay, well I guess let's start with the most obvious. Why do you think you do the things you do? What drives all the violence and mayhem?"

"Harleen, my dear. You're smart enough to answer that for yourself. It's all about entropy my dear. You little people have all these little make believe laws in your little make believe world. Make a plan, keep the order and everything is fine. Even if something bad happens it's fine as long as it's according to plan. Nobody panics when everything goes according to plan, but that's not how the world works my dear. The world is chaos, and all I've tried to do is show you all how to embrace it. Introduce a little anarchy, upset the established order and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos."

"And what made you decide to embrace the chaos Mr. Joker?"

"Ah ah ah Doc, you got your question. Now I get mine." He cranes his neck towards the ceiling twisting his neck from side to side as if he's thinking. I have to scold myself when I short circuit for a minute and imagine what it would be like to drag my tongue the smooth stretched skin. What would he taste like?

 _Woah where did that come from? Pull it together Harleen._

His head is tilted down now and his eyes are glued to my left hand. Suddenly one of his hands has snaked across the table and a long thin finger is stroking the simple golden band adorning my ring finger. The logical response would be to jerk back, but instead I lean into his touch a bit unconsciously and I notice it makes him smirk a bit _._ "What's the story with this Doc?"

I look at him with a raised eyebrow and answer in a deadpan, "It's a wedding band, Mr. Joker. With all your genius I would expect you would know what one is." He looks like his anger is about to spike before he visibly reins it in. Interesting…so he is has at least some semblance of control over his emotions.

"You know what I meant Doc. Where is he? How'd you meet? What's your heart stopping how'd they meet romcom-esque story?"

I get a bit of a hitch in my throat and swallow a wet sob I feel building deep in my stomach. I take a deep breath, then another. "Too personal, ask something different," I mutter.

"Oh come _on_ Doc, it's only the first question. I answered yours. Throw me a bone."

I think a moment. If this is Jack and he truly doesn't remember anything, talking about us may help jog his memory. "We met in middle school. He stopped some kids from bullying me," I recall. "He was my knight in shining armor. We were inseparable ever since."

15 Years Ago

 _I stumble over the foot stuck out in front of me and my books and papers scatter down the hall. Hot tears of frustration form in my eyes. I'm already almost late to class and now I'll be even later._

 _"Hey, four eyes, you'd think with all that improved vision you'd be able to watch where you're going. Maybe that's why you're parents left, you're just defective!" Laughter erupts down the hall and I try to climb to my knees and shrug off some of the growing humiliation. Just as I'm about to push myself to my feet, my knees are kicked out from under me and I'm tumbling back down. My spirits get knocked the rest of the way down with me and soon the tears are overflowing and streaming down my cheeks._

 _"Hey, knock it off!"_

 _Everyone turns to see a pale boy with messy brown hair and a slight muscular build approaching the boy who just kicked me. "Walk away kid before you bite off more than you can chew," my bully scoffs in annoyance. Faster than anyone can see my bully is pinned against the lockers and my hero's hands are fisted in his collar._

 _"Listen, you don't want to mess with me, especially today. I said leave the girl alone. I'll tell you one more time before I start swingin fists and trust me you ain't gonna like that." The bully shoves my savior off of him, glances at me, then turns._

 _"I was done with her anyway," he says in a whiny voice as he walks away, ego bruised and surrounded by his numbskull friends._

 _"Alright everybody, shows over. Get on with your lives will ya?!" He turns to me and offers a hand. I'm mesmerized when I find myself staring into the bluest eyes I've ever seen and can't seem to remember how to move my body. He grins and I feel the blood rushing to my face. I try again to move my arm again, but my whole body seems to be intent on sitting here and ogling this mystery boy. Finally, a strong warm grip encases my hand and gently pulls me to my feet and I feel like a shock runs through my body at the touch._

 _"My name's Jack? How about you sweets?"_

 _When I don't answer right away and simply stare longer he chuckles and it's the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. I shake my head a bit to clear my thoughts and get a hold of myself. "Harleen Franscis Quinzel." He chuckles again and glances down to where I'm still gripping his hand. I quickly let go and feel my face grow even redder if that's possible._

 _"That's quite the mouthful kiddo," he smirks. He throws an arm around my shoulder and keeps grinning, "I think I'm just gonna call ya Harley. What's your next class? I'll walk ya there."_

 _"_ We didn't officially get together for another two years, but we never left each other's side," I sigh wistfully just thinking about that day. Joker hasn't made a noise or snarky comment all throughout the story and from what I've experienced from him so far that's not normal. I look to him to make sure everything is all right. He's staring straight ahead and his eyes are a bit cloudy, but he quickly snaps his glare back at me.

"Harley eh? Well it's better than that Harleen garbage. So where's the poor sap now huh?"

"That's two questions. It's not your turn," I respond suddenly choked up. I glance to the clock and see that we only have about ten minutes left. I'm about to find a way to wind down the session when there's a sharp knock at the door and Nurse Bridges walks in. "Jenny, what on earth are you doing? Mr. Joker and I are in the middle of a session we still have ten minutes left." She shoots me a glare, but then ignores me and sends a sultry look towards my patient. I feel a fire shoot through my veins and have the sudden urge to jump from my chair and claw her face.

"Aw don't worry Doc, Nurse Jenny here and I are really good friends. Aren't we toots?" I have to physically restrain myself from jumping out of my chair as jealous tears try to escape my eyes. How dare he give another woman pet names? How dare she look at him with that pouty begging face? No one looks at my Puddin like that. He's MINE!

"Cool your jets Quinzel. J here has a physical and has permission to leave therapy a bit early. Don't worry I'll take really good care of him." She winks at him and he grins. I feel like my stomach's full of rocks. My Jack, and suddenly I realize that at some point during the session I decided I wasn't unsure of that anymore, is flirting with another woman. Right in front of me.

Joker looks back at me just a rebellious tear finally drips down my cheek and onto the table. He looks concerned for a moment, almost guilty? But it disappears before anyone else can see it and is replaced by a malicious metal toothed grin as he slides his straight jacket back on and stands so that Jenny can refasten it. As she leads him from the room I hear him laughing his maniacally at something she says. Anger and sadness war in my gut and I decide right then and there that I am going to make Joker get his memory back. He _is_ going to remember me. He's going to remember _us_.

AN:

Thank you all for the wonderful reviews and messages. I got a little unfocused with this chapter since I took so much time away from it, but I promise the next chapter will be better. I'm getting into a busy time of year, but I promise I will upload at least once I week, but I'm aiming for more. Anyways, leave a review and let me know what you like or if you have any critiques. Also, I have a basic idea for what I want for this story, but some of this story I'm just making up as I go. If you have any ideas about what you want to see happen send me a PM. I don't promise that everything will be featured in the story, but I will take any ideas into consideration.


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